sushi and mochi ice cream

We all need a break sometime...
just a day to clear your head...
and catch up with a friend...

Thanks Toni Rose =D

My goal is to have a better story for you; or even explain that random comment i made, but that will have to wait till i can explain it myself.

a melting candle

these past couple of weeks seem to be the hardest yet. Yes, work is going to busy; Yes, moving is really irritating esp. when you have to sort through boxes; Yes, spirit rally is getting close and videos are uncompressed sitting a hard drive

I am a candle being burnt from both ends...
maybe i put myself in this situation...
i wish i could give more the part of my life that rite now feels like its not...

i wish i could be honest, with everything, and just let go

maybe the melting will lead to something new...only time will tell

...leaning against a wall that i can't push over...

itunes makes a suggestion

my ipod is interesting mix

latest addition is: The Swift

http://www.myspace.com/theswift

i like it, but my opinion isn't very much cause i'll listen to almost anything

give because HE gave

i know its not much, but i'll try to give you all i can...you may not know it; you might not take it, but i'll give just the same. its really all that i can do, its something i've always done maybe too much, maybe not enough. i wish i believed in myself enough to give what i REALLY need to, rather than give what's expected.

behind the walls

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

Mercy Me - Homesick

All the walls, all the hiding...
i can't find what i once had

Trying to make time for the things that i missed; only now it seems i don't belong.

Where do i go from here?

lists

how can one person be so wise? I really don't know, but I'm glad that I have friends who are. So here's the list:

1._____________ (you know...=D)
2.drive along pch, and enjoy the view
3.sushi and really good conversation
4.disney half marathon
5.LB half marathon
6.take martial art classes
7.buy a house (doubt this will happen anytime soon)

its a work in progress.

smile

it really doesn't take much apparently, just take the time relax. Its better when your able to remember those conversations that made you laugh, smile, or opened your eyes to something you never saw before. I guess it helps when your IM conversations get saved automatically, [i don't know why it does that].

got the push, but afraid to fall
that's my vague post

history repeats itself

We all have those moments when we wish there was a second chance, an opportunity to roll back time, and rethink our actions. Yet, the more time you spend thinking about what you should have done, you forget that you have the opportunity to learn and rectify such actions. I struggle to find the grace to handle it. When you given everything you have or think you have...its sometimes not enough. My sacrifice seems so small next to HIS. But it is HIS sacrifice, that allows me to live, learn, pray. I pray more now than ever...because that all that i can do now. Everything is in your hands.

The edit:
Everything happens for a reason.
No reason to regret; must make the effort to try =D

from walls to doors

Time to change...
I needed to
Friends deserve more than i gave
when they're willing to give me everything,

even a push when i'll need it



Thanks again for listening...=D

wandering...

praying that it will get better...

i really don't know what better is. It might just be a selfish prayer, at the root of it, as much as i don't want it to be. Its hard to think about the fact that i haven't really changed or got any closer to some goal or aspiration. Sometimes, history is repeating itself, only difference now i know what not to do; instead i stand still and not try at all. Hiding is comfortable, i've got it down to a science...

words in a page, lyrics of a song...only makes the truth more apparent, despite the fact i wish to hide from it.

words spoken in a whisper...made vocal for my own sake...echoing within the walls i've built, making it that much harder to forget or let go.

i can only stand at a distance, willing to catch you when you fall...

praying that your someone will

Are you feeling seperated from love
And the way you thought this life should be
Just open your heart
Hear these wordsThat were said to me
And say it to me

You're not alone, You're not alone
Even though you feel so far from home
You're not alone, You're not alone
And if you just stop and look around
You're not the only one

"you're not alone" - storyside b

Valentine's Day

...Love sweet love I feel your power
Hear my prayer, we're in your hands now
Take these hearts so lost and broken
Bring us home again
If this prayer for love is never heard
Oh, and if you have to walk away for these are only words

Waiting here for you with love and open arms...

-"My Prayer"-

...Love is not a feeling, but an action...

An action that allowed us to be where we are and where we are to be. There is someone out there who will love you more than you know. You have to be open to receive it. Even more so, if we are made in His image, then we need to LOVE just the same.

tennis outdoors, not on the wii

Fri: happy b-day frances
tennis after work

So, the last time i played tennis was when i was seven. My family was living in oxnard for a couple months, and after work my dad would take me to the tennis courts. He used to play and has the trophies lying around my house somewhere. Too bad i got really frustrated when i was younger when i was learning new things (i.e. tennis, piano).

I wish I wouldn't give up as much as i do; stupid wall.

Sat: happy b-day brenton
lazy day

Still behind the walls, trying to jump over

so tired...

i wish things were different, more like the circumstances.

Often the advice is easy to give, but most of the time you're the one that needs to hear it.

Surrounded by walls, praying for a window.

untitled

In moments of silence
I hear your voice, but do not listen
“My child,” You call
As I look toward the star-filled sky
“I’m here,” You say
I can’t see your face; eyes blurred
Pools fill in disbelief
I weep and you come.

Your arms wide open
Longing to give your love to me
“My child,” You call
You weep wanting me to be with you

In moments of silence
You hear my voice and listen
“My God,” I call
As you look from the star-filled sky
“I’m sorry,” I cry
You see my face, my eyes blurred
Pools overflow with tears
I weep and you come

Yet, my arms are closed
My heart unable to understand
“I can’t,” I reply.
I weep wanting to be with you

...

sometimes my toughest critic is myself.
Its something that can't be helped...i wish i could fix things...i wish i knew where to go

i apologize for the cryptic post.

all i have to give

Prayers to the families who lost loved ones this past weekend. May God provide strength in this time of need.

To a dear friend, I'm praying for you always.

a new year

In the sky there's a million stars Shining down upon us.
You can look up at them all, but which one's gonna fall?
The heart it always has the answers if you listen,
But you gotta keep believing,
You gotta keep on reaching.
For that someone you always hope to find,
For that one love that just might change your life.

-Chances

It might be a resolution, or maybe not...
One definite is: marathon training -> Long Beach '07 half-marathon in 2 hrs =)

merry CHRISTmas

a merry 1st christmas to my nephew, Nathan.
a belated b-day to my god-daughter, Isabella

next generation count:
5 nieces
1 nephew

The whole openning presents thing went by quick...its pretty much for the kiddos.
Uncles playing poker, Aunts asking about the missing significant other @ the party,
and the Wii.

Bowling, Golf, then Tennis...before it was all the kids just playing the games, and now its the uncles playing golf.

The End

nothing left

All the walls, all the hiding...

i can't find what i once had

Making time for the things that i missed; only now it seems i don't belong.

Where do i go from here?